99 Plant Problems
— Let’s fix our foliage together! If your green thumb is a perfectly manicured shade of anything but green, here are some helpful tips on how to not kill your houseplants, how to earn your propagation props, and what plants should not be nibbled on by your four legged friends or backyard chicken buddies.
Fiddle Leaf Fig
— While the fiddle leaf fig is one of my all time favorite plants, it is also a total asshole plant. Fiddle leaf figs like to be spritzed and toweled off. They like light, but not too much light. These plants grow to expect routine and do not like to even be moved. Pick a room and stick with it. Under watering one month and overwatering the next will trigger distress.
The dreaded leaf drop on many plants, and especially on the fiddle leaf fig is a sure sign of under or overwatering. How do you tell the difference between what’s too dry or too wet for this vegetative diva of a plant?
The Instagram post on the right shows clear evidence of a very unhappy fig that has been overwatered. Discoloration on the leaves is patchy and dark or yellow (not brown and crispy). What the leaves are showing you is a sign of what’s going on beneath the soil. Overwatering can lead to root rot which eventually will damage the leaves and even kill the plant.
As needed, plan to water the fiddle leaf fig at the same time once every two weeks if potted indoors. My fig demands a reoccurring “Watering Wednesday” at 5pm on a bi-weekly basis. After checking the top 1” of soil to be sure it’s dry to the touch, I pour one out for my homies, one for my little figgy, and one for me.
Toxic to cats and dogs if ingested, causing oral irritation, excessive drooling, and vomiting. Sap may cause irritation and burns.
Mother-in-law’s Tongue
— Sansevieria or Snake Plant makes for a great low maintenance house plant. Like the fiddle leaf fig, the Snake Plant also does not like to be over watered. If your desire to keep yourself hydrated transfers over to your plant babies, you may end up water boarding them. Sentencing them to over saturation and a slow death by root rot will result in the bases of the leaves of the Snake Plant turning to mush. If you notice that the stalks of this plant begin to lean or are no longer erect, check to see if the potting soil is too damp.
Like your mother-in-law, this plant is toxic (Kidding!). Ingesting this plant can cause vomiting, nausea, and swelling of the mouth, throat and tongue.
Air Plants
While air plants can survive without being potted in traditional soil, they can also be surprisingly easy to kill. Air plants do not have root systems, so if you put your air plant in a pot of soil, it’s going to rot and quickly turn into a mushy mess. Air plants, also know as Tillandsia, get their nutrients and water from using tiny, fluffy growths on their leaves to absorb moisture from their environment. This is one reason why air plants thrive in more humid climates like Florida.
A healthy little air plant should look like it has a layer of velvet on the leaves like in the photo on the right. Do not let your air plat get to the stage where it is looking dry. I killed my first set of air plants from following instructions on the interwebs that said to submerge the entire plant in a bowl of water a few times a week. This method allowed too much water to accumulate around the base of the plant and the leaves started to slough off.
The method that I have found to work best is to mist the plants or wet under running water one to two times per week. I do this with the plant held upside down. When watering, you want to completely saturate the leaves, but you want to make sure that the base remains free from any water build up. Once you have watered, make sure to gently shake the plant upside down to release any excess water from the center of the plant. I leave mine upside down on a towel to drain after watering before returning them to their planter.
Your air plant will thrive in a spot with bright, filtered light. In West Texas, I keep mine indoors due to the arid climate outside. My air plant babies are from The Artizan Way and all have produced beautiful pink blooms. To get your own air plant baby or for in-depth care instructions, head over to their site.
